English Is Ours, Says England

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Ed Milliband, the Wrong Brother and Leader of the Labour party has dealt another blow to the Yes Campaign.

Yesterday at the Royal Linguistics Society Annual Conference he said:

In the event of a Yes vote in the independence referendum, Scotland will not be able to use the English language. I want to make this very clear, and this will be a manifesto commitment, along with keeping all the austerity cuts that the Tories were planning and committing ourselves to another 50 years of Trident.

‘We may put in some crap about helping the poor after the shite we and the Tories have left them in – we’ll see if we can be arsed.”

He was asked if this could be construed as a threat against the very people who have built and maintained the political party he is leader of. He said:

I don’t give two fucks about them.”

Keir Hardie was unavailable for comment.

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